


1313 Mockingbird Lane

by Linorien



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond - All Media Types, The Munsters
Genre: Community: MI6 Cafe | mi6_cafe, Gen, sp00qy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 02:37:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21190175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linorien/pseuds/Linorien
Summary: In which Bond meets Q's eccentric relatives who live (sorta) in Mockingbird Heights, California.Written for the 666 Sp00qy challenge.





	1313 Mockingbird Lane

**Author's Note:**

> Really if you have never seen "The Munsters" see if you can find a dvd because it is so good.

The quartermaster was going on holiday. To America. California no less. 

“I have relatives there,” he explained as he handed over a fully stocked briefcase. “I used to spend the winter holidays with them. Haven’t seen them in ages.” Fully stocked with one gun, some bullets, and lots of protective foam. “I expect they won’t have changed much though.”

“How long has it been?” Bond asked.

“Maybe twenty years? I suppose little Eddie will have grown up then.” Q smiled. “Tell you what, if you finish your mission in one piece and you can come over for lunch. You’ll be relatively nearby, assuming the mission goes as planned.”

Bond raised an eyebrow. “Do they ever?”

***

A few car chases, explosions, and a bullet in the thigh later, Bond called up Q for a late lunch.

“Get whatever injury you’re hiding stitched up and then come over for dinner. I’ll text you the address. I can hear it in your voice so don’t you come over here with dried blood on yourself.”

Bond reluctantly agreed and took himself to the ER then to the address given. 

He pulled up in front of a rundown house with uneven additions and no lights on. He looked down at this phone then at the number on the iron gate. It matched. “Must be the place,” he muttered. It’s not like Skyfall was in better shape from the outside when he’d grown up there. Although, Skyfall felt like an old home. This felt like death. Bond shivered despite the warm night. 

Q opened the door before he got the chance to rap the large iron knocker. Bond nearly didn’t recognise him. Contrary to the garish colours in the office, he was dressed in all black and he looked to be wearing eyeliner as well. “Bond! Glad you found the place. Dinner’s not quite ready yet, but come on in and meet the family.” He was more relaxed as well, but that at least was expected when they weren’t restricted by the formality of the office. 

What wasn’t expected, was how unusual the family was. Q brought him into the living room with a roaring fire and Victorian furniture and introduced him to everyone. “This is Eddie,” he said, indicating a man maybe slightly younger than Bond, but with a rough beard and scars on his muscled forearms. 

“And Uncle Herman.” 

A man of Jaws’s proportions and sallow skin waved with a childlike smile. “Hello!.” Bond could swear he had bolt sticking out of his neck, but perhaps they were medical. It seemed rude to ask so soon. 

“Aunt Lily is in the kitchen.” Bond took a couple steps forward to see into the large kitchen. A woman with long black hair was just grabbing a tray out of the oven. She glanced his way and waved with her free hand. Bond blinked, but it seemed like she hadn’t used oven mitts to take the hot tray out. 

“Where’s Grandpa?” Q asked, looking around and upstairs. “He was here five minutes ago.”

“He went back to his lab,” Herman said. “He shouted something about an idea and ran off.”

Ah. That sounded familiar. Bond had been having trouble understanding how Q was related to this unusual family, but being related to a mad scientist made it all make sense. Bond had seen Q run off to his own lab many times in the middle of talking with one of his minions. 

Q stomped loudly on the floor twice. “Grandpa! Come up and meet Bond!”

A trap door on the floor was flung open and a man more spry than himself practically leapt up the stairs. This was the man Q had gotten his own wild hair from. Smoke was pouring off of the man and his cap flared dramatically in a sudden gust of wind. “This the man who plunders you lab? Would you like me to dispose of him?”

Shaking his head fondly, Q replied, “I have other plans for him.”


End file.
